(via nervousrex)
G.O.B.: Hey, can you do me a favor? A young neighborhood tough by the name of Steve Holt will be dropping by, and...
Michael: Your son?
G.O.B.: According to him.
Michael: And a DNA test.
G.O.B.: I hear the jury's still out on science.
Michael: I need the guy with the fake arm, J. Walter Weatherman.
George Sr.: Oh, he's dead. You killed him when you left the door open with the air conditioning on.
Michael: You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, you know, arrested development.
Narrator: Hey, that's the name of the show!
Lucille: Well apparently, mood-altering medication leads to street drugs. That’s what this very handsome young doctor said on the Today Show.
Michael: That was Tom Cruise, the actor.
Lucille: They said he was some kind of scientist.
G.O.B.: Well, gee, I never thought the woman I'd be checking out at spring break would be Mom.
Buster: She's better looking than the whores you date.
G.O.B.: Don't call my escorts "whores."
Buster: Mom's still got it!
G.O.B.: I DON'T DATE WHORES!
Lindsay: Stop it, stop it! This objectification of women has to stop.
Michael: It’s just Mom and whores.
